More questions than answers

How does one tell when they have a truly terrific idea? Did the pioneers of ages past realize what they were doing when they were doing it? Was Beethoven just a blind man playing a piano to himself? Was Isaac Newton sitting under a tree hating himself when the damn apple fell? What is the process in which ordinary people become extraordinary and can they tell when they have crossed that line? Can you become extraordinary by trying, or do you just do and become? Do people even care anymore? Is there even such a thing as a pioneer? Or is it all just formalities followed because everyone before us did it? So much of what is done today seems like bullshit. Our society is a cloth in which a demon of sorts (the plane gremlin from twilight zone comes to mind) has taken the end of and began unraveling, laughing while running off with the foundation of life. It used to be that when people were down, they were standing on the edge. Most people would be there due to circumstance and their own doing. But now it seems like the edge is chasing us. We no longer have to go there, its coming right for us. So the only thing that the people who dont want to go over that edge can do is run. Run in and through chaos, confusion, and misery trying to piece together a life with broken, sharp objects. Shards of glass that have fallen off of our society that the humble try to pick up and build a house with, cutting themselves along the way. Some bleed out, others bind the wounds and push on, forging families, happiness, contentment through the fires. Me and my wife are two such people. I love her dearly, with all of my heart. Running from the edge of the unraveling cloth, we strive to live day to day with our sanity intact, binding eachothers wounds. It helps to have another around to stop the bleeding. But when we get it under control, we must pick up another shard and cut ourselves once more in order to build our happy home. Good people can only run now-a-days, stumbling all the way. Good people is a tough term to use, so I'll stick with humble people from now on. We are not above anyone, we just do not wear the mask of ignorance. Too many people in this world think they deserve it all and they act as road blocks for the humble. The humble realize their shortcomings, and even though they are hypocrites, we all are, they do their best to fix what is wrong. It's not in vain, we are who we are. To realize ones mistakes and to try their damnedest to fix them is not a crime. The crime is the people out in the world who realize that they are donig wrong, thinking wrong, acting wrong (in the sense of justice) and continue to act anyways. They willingly wake up in the morning and put on their mask of ignorance and go about the day making speed bumbs and road blocks on the unraveling fabric for the humble to stumble upon. In this day and age it is the difficult task of the humble to build with broken glass. To find the key in the rusty nails. To bind the wounds of one another. Ladies and gentlemen, I want our society to work out. I want our leaders to have the faith, intelligence, and common sense they need to rebuild what we have broken. To stop the runaway demon, put it back in its cage and to sew the fabric back together. There will always be glass that we must use to build with, life is not easy, the only thing I am asking for is just a few bricks to go in between. And a flower or two. But how does one become the man or woman to help distrubute those bricks? How does one pioneer with words in this day and age instead of a bat? How do you get the people who wake up and put on their masks to take them off without slapping them in the face? Can we even communicate with them anymore? How does one man make a difference?

Before Breakfast

The individual. Certainly a very important part of creation and destruction. As I said before folks it is up to us to decide our own futures. Carve our own paths and be our own persons. We are all capable of many things, be it good or bad, and we all have the choice of how we want to participate in this world. I want to participate. I want to be an influential part of people's lives in a good way. But that dream is becoming more and more clouded by the fact that I may not be the person to lead when the time comes. When the time comes...a belief that I have had for such a long time. I have tried and tried to find my place in this world...or have I? For so long I have believed that my place is not in this world, but in the one that comes after this one. The one that exists after mankind has made its ultimate mistake and destroyed its own very way of life. I have validated this belief for so many years by thinking that one: since I cannot find my niche, it has to be somewhere else, and two: the system is broken and it is tough for a nobody like me to get ahead in this world because I do not have the right paperwork. Held back by the system that has been put in place to keep us going but ends up holding us back. But I can no longer blame my confusion on the system alone. The confusion lies within myself. It is a fact that has become increasingly obvious that I have decided not to deal with for quite some time. I have separated myself into two people when I am in fact one. There is me, Bryan, an intelligent, hansom man who has what it takes to forge a path in this crazy world, and then there is me, Knives, a destructive, angry part of me that has no idea what to do with memories of the past. The part of me that is Knives is a very sick, twisted individual that I do not want to consider part of myself. But the fact is that there is no one in my head but me. The sooner I merge with those thoughts and feelings and accept them, the sooner I can come back to reality and realize that I have a life to tend to, a family that loves me, and a fiancee who does indeed want to be with me and needs me more than ever. My anger, confusion, and lack of confidence has held me back for too long. A change is in effect and I must pull together and not dwell on how broken the system is, but do my best to participate in it and fix it as soon as possible. The individual my friends. We all have our own problems, demons we have to face, but together we can change the course of history. Slowly but surely, we nobodies must rise above ignorance and fear, to believe in ourselves and in our system. Don't talk about fixing the problem.....fucking fix it.

Introduction

Hello. My name is Bryan. So I'm going to get right into it. I heard on the radio this morning that a lot of local governments are having to cut back on spending money on things for people to enjoy in the community. Sign of the times. Montgomery county though refused to cut fireworks though because they said that since there is so little to be happy about now a days, why take away the opportunity for people to gather and enjoy watching fireworks? So where does this unhappiness start? The individual? The government? The media? Certainly there are those out there with plenty of money who are not feeling the heat of these economic times, or at least think they are not. The simple truth is that we are ending our own world folks. A collaborative genius of misery spun by neighbors, friends, newscasters, you name it. And it is up to us to put it back on track. Ignorance runs rampant these days, as it always has. But in such times it is important for us, the individual, to flip our brain switches to on, and realize what we are doing. But we can only do this one thing at a time. If we are going to save our way of life, we have to start with ourselves. Now I am in now way, shape, or form putting myself on some type of pedestal. I am indeed very angry at society as a whole at the moment and it is definitely something that clouds my judgement at times. There is too much red tape in this society that holds people down. Government, local business, employers, titles given from people themselves. I am an auto parts salesman. Blue collar. A lot of people would look down on me because of my job. In a way I have just labeled myself as others would, but there are just some things you have to accept. I only have a two year degree and cannot say I am the most successful man in the world. From a point of view. I also have a wonderful fiancee, a roof over my head, and a douche of a cat. Sure there is room to improve, but I would consider myself successful. Its all about how we think ourselves. So to answer, the unhappiness starts with the individual. It is our duty to ourselves, and to whatever god gave you life, I don't discriminate, to work to make this world better. The government is not going to do it. The media is certainly not going to do it. Without us, neither would work anyways. The sad truth we have to realize at this point is that both the media and the government have us at this point, as far as influence goes, and it is not working. It is up to us, the nobodies, to make it work. Think about it. The government needs to be brought back down to earth. Politicians SUCK. Plain and simple. The media needs to shut the hell up. Period. We need to know whats going on in our world, but not spun into some depressing rant by some freaky opinionist that thinks their shit doesn't stink. It is us, what society would call the nobodies, the people who work day to day thinking they don't matter, that will make the difference. We must realize that we do in fact matter, and will be the ones who will change everything. Or else everything will continue to fall apart.